Although Valentine’s Day has passed, heartache can persist.  Your social feeds are still likely full of cute couples celebrating love.  Unless you’re in a relationship, Valentine’s Day or a simple scroll through Instagram can trigger sadness, longing, maybe even jealousy.  If you’re dealing with a broken heart, this can trigger pain so deep it’s almost unbearable. 

The truth is, no matter what time of year, heartache is one of the worst pains.  When your body physically aches and your heart actually feels broken, it can be hard to focus on anything else.  Naturally, your mind concentrates on the pain and, although counterproductive, it also calls attention to the things you could have done or should have said that could change this awful situation.  In other words, you start to blame yourself, without realizing that self-blame exacerbates the pain you already feel and never leads to a positive change. 

So what can you do instead? When you’re going through a breakup or dealing with a romantic disappointment, how can you heal a broken heart? 

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Nurture yourself

Instead of blaming yourself, take care of yourself.  Surround yourself with people, things, and experiences that help you feel good.  This may require pushing yourself to get out of bed and clean yourself up, but I promise you, it will help! You will feel so much better when you are surrounded by positive people and uplifting environments, even if it is just for a short time.   

Trust the process 

The pain of a breakup or disappointment is heavy.  At the same time, it offers a lot of wisdom.  Going through difficult situations builds strength, resilience, and wisdom.  Think about what the relationship or person taught you about yourself, love, and relationships.  Tap into the wisdom you now have and the strength you are developing.  Stay focused on the light at the end of this tunnel and trust that you will soon be in the light feeling lighter, happier, more open, and a lot wiser! 

Look forward

Your mind will try to pull you back into the past but replaying everything in your head is equal to torturing yourself.  There is no value in going back to what was.  Instead, remind yourself where you are and where you are going. Envision the time when your heart is healed and you are feeling strong.  Start to see yourself in another relationship with someone who is ready to give you what you truly deserve.  Looking forward will ignite optimism and hope, two qualities that are medicines for a broken heart. 

Write a Let-it-Go letter 

One thing that makes break-ups so hard is the feeling that things are unresolved.  If you still have a lot you want to say to the person who let you down, get a piece of paper, open notes on your phone, or pull out your journal and get it out.  Express any feelings, sentiments, and wishes that are still lingering.  Be real, raw, and brutally honest.  Do it as many times as you need to feel relief.  If you have trouble getting started, download my Let It Go Letter for inspiration and guidance. 

No matter what, you will get through this! It may take some time and it isn’t fun, but all the heavy feelings will soon lighten. The memories will fade.  Your heart will heal and love again.  Believe it.