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Ten Life Coach Tips for Fulfilling New Year’s Resolutions

by | Jan 3, 2024 | Teenagers | 0 comments

We kick off the New Year energized by our goals and New Year’s resolutions, but all too often they fall by the wayside, leaving us defeated rather than empowered. Heading into the New Year with a toolbox of strategies and practices can inspire us to stay motivated. 

Here are a few of my favorite tips for building confidence, resilience, and emotional intelligence and sticking to our New Year’s resolutions.  They are written with teens and young adults in mind but are equally helpful for adults.  Try one or try them all.    

 

1. Practice savoring. 

When things are going well, stop and notice. Say to yourself “Everything is so well right now! Yay! Thank you!”  This affirmation actually promotes feelings of well-being and encourages more good things.

2. Investigate your feelings.

Feelings don’t always reflect reality.  You may feel awkward, behind, or not good enough, but that does not mean you are!  Always take a moment to notice and accept how you feel, then question if the feeling is based on fact.

3. Ask yourself, Does their opinion really matter?

This question is most helpful when you find yourself worried that someone is judging you. As you explore the importance of other people’s opinions, you should discover that there are only a few people whose opinion matters.  Almost everyone else’s opinion has little to no impact on your life.

4. Avoid beehives!

Consider this: when you get stung by a bee, it hurts! You react! But then, you take care of your physical wound. You remove the stinger, ice your sting, treat it with cream, etc.  What you don’t do is walk into a beehive and invite more bees to sting you.  However, when we experience an emotional blow, like being left out, or when we go through a disappointment, like getting a bad grade, we tend to walk into the metaphorical beehive.  Instead of caring for ourselves, we blame ourselves, beat ourselves up, and start to feel worse.  This year, choose to avoid beehives.  When you feel disappointed or emotionally hurt, be kind to yourself and do things that help you feel better, just – as  you would if you were physically hurt.

 

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5. Stop believing everything you think. 

Our minds are incredibly imaginative and can spin wild stories about the past, present, and future. Before we know it, we start believing the wild stories and reacting to them, even when they are far from the truth.  Get in the habit of noticing your thoughts and asking, Is that really true? 

6.Remember, you’ve made it through ALL the bad days.  

Although bad days can make us feel stuck, the truth is we can figure things out, reach out for help, and get through hard times.  Think about all the challenges you’ve already gone through and how each one has made you stronger and wiser. 

7.Be proactive with your mental health. 

Don’t wait for something to be “wrong” to seek support.  Learn skills and strategies for managing stress, processing heavy feelings, building healthy connections, and cultivating a growth mindset. Make your mental health a priority, especially as you embark on your journey to achieve your New Year’s resolutions.

8. Treat yourself like you would treat your best friend.

You would never tell a best friend she’s not good enough or no one likes her.  Instead, you would offer your best friend love, support, and encouragement, especially if he or she is going through a rough time. Do the same for yourself as you navigate the challenges and triumphs of pursuing your New Year’s resolutions.

9. Remember you are never stuck!  

This is especially helpful to keep in mind when you’re making a big decision. Instead of being filled with fears and what ifs, remind yourself that you always have choices and you can always choose actions that promote change.  

10. Look at “failure” as an opportunity.  

There are always valuable opportunities in a failure or setback.  We learn something new about ourselves or others, gain strength and resilience, and can find ourselves on a new and better path.  You do need to allow yourself to feel the pain of disappointment or failure, but in order not to linger in feelings of disappointment, embarrassment, or shame, ask yourself, what do I now know? 

 

Bonus Tip!  

This one comes from one of my teen clients who, after just six sessions, went from feeling socially anxious and insecure to finding ease in starting conversations with new people and allowing her inner and outer beauty to shine.  When I asked, what advice would you give others who experience social anxiety or feelings of insecurity, this is what she said: 

 

“Make the choice to not hide yourself. You don’t need other people’s validation to feel good about yourself. The only thing that matters is whether or not you feel good about yourself.  When you realize that other people’s opinions don’t matter as much as you thought they did, you will find that it’s okay to be yourself. You will feel so much better when you’re being yourself, and even better when you realize there are people who like you for being you.”

 

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