We have an average of 50,000-60,000 thoughts a day.  Most of these thoughts have very little honesty to them.  Much of what we believe is the product of our imagination and can be very misleading.  

The reality is, we can’t stop our thoughts but we can decide how much attention we want to give them.  When thoughts arise, as they inevitably will, we don’t need to judge them or push them away.  Instead, we can step back and listen to the thought and then decide if it’s useful or not, and more importantly if it’s even valid.  

Sometimes when you stop and listen from the heart you can see how much trouble we get ourselves into from believing the stories we tell ourselves over and over.  Just because we have a thought doesn’t mean we have to believe it, much less act on it.  

An excellent exercise to help your teen to change their mindset or thought process is an exercise called “Finding the Upside”: 

Finding the Upside means recognizing and acknowledging your negative thoughts and then changing your thought process to something positive.  Here is an example: Let’s say your teen has a big presentation in school that they are all up in their head about.  Their thoughts are telling them they are going to forget what they have to say, mess up and make a fool of themselves, fail the presentation, etc. 

Instead of allowing their thoughts to take over and get the best of them, they can take a deep breath and acknowledge that they are nervous or stressed and sit with that for a moment.  Then, they take that thought and change the way they view it by looking at the upside of it.  So instead of saying, “I’m going to fail this presentation or mess up in front of the entire class”, they can say “whoa, I have a lot of emotions coming up regarding this presentation, it must really mean a lot to me to do well on it.”  

When teens can start to realize they are not their thoughts, they can explore them more deeply and begin to move into a greater stillness that offers them information about who they really are at their core.  

Written by Julie Pullman
Rise Wellness Coaching
Instagram: @risebyjulie