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Does your daughter need Confidence Coaching? 

by | Jun 17, 2024 | College, Teenagers | 0 comments

Ask a teenage girl what she really wants and you’re likely to hear things like: 

  • A high GPA
  • More friends
  • Get accepted into a good college
  • Feel more confident 

 

Almost all of the teenage girls I coach want to feel more confident.  Confidence is linked with self-esteem, as well as an ability to set boundaries, take healthy risks, and form positive social connections.  But for teenage girls, feeling confident can be hard.  

 

Societal pressures, social media and friendships create daily challenges to their confidence.   

 

Confidence challenges include: 

 

  • Unrealistic standards of beauty and success (heightened by social media)
  • Fairweather friends and feeling left out
  • Rigorous academic standards and fear of failure
  • A powerful inner-critic 

  

With the right support and guidance, girls can overcome these challenges and step into authentic confidence,

 

That’s where confidence coaching comes in. 

 

Confidence coaching begins with helping girls understand that confidence can be cultivated.  It can be developed as they become aware of: 

 

  • Their strengths: Who they are
  • Their values: What they stand for
  • Their mindset: How they think and what they believe 

 

Strengths

 

Most girls only admit to seeing the very basic parts of themselves.  They will use words like, funny, smart, kind, or athletic.  But through confidence coaching, they learn how to expand their view.   With deepening awareness of inner-qualities, like analytical, creative, leadership, or empathy,  they begin to feel a stronger sense of who they are.  Their confidence grows.  

 

I use a variety of tools to help girls identify their strengths. Two of my favorites include a strengths checklist and the Via Strengths Finder.  I also guide girls through a reflection of past experiences and achievements so they can recognize  how they have used their strengths and how their strengths have helped them.  Understanding personal strengths is the first step toward feeling more confident. Connecting with values is the second step. 

 

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Values

 

As girls align with their values, or what’s important to them, they gain a stronger sense of capability and trust in themselves.   In confidence coaching, they clarify their values and learn how to use them as a guide for decision making. Values can include qualities like loyalty, fairness, honesty, or compassion.   With my coaching tools and through reflective conversations, girls begin to identify their values and connect them with their actions and goals.   They gain a sense of purpose and direction, boosting their competence and confidence!

 

Just as connecting with strengths and values supports girls in building true confidence, understanding their mindset takes it a step further. 

 

Mindset 

 

One of my favorite aspects of confidence coaching is identifying confident thoughts.  I talk with girls about how their thoughts are the key to their confidence.  Knowledge of their strengths and values help them build a confident mindset.  Thoughts like, “I can’t. I’m not good enough” can be replaced with strengths and values affirming thoughts like, “I am analytical. I can figure things out.” 

 

To help girls expand their repertoire of confident thoughts, I ask them to trace back to a time when they experienced confidence and self-worth. I encourage them to remember how they saw themselves in that situation. 

 

On the flip side, I ask them to consider times when they experienced a lack of confidence and how they were talking to themselves  in that situation. 

Through these coaching conversations, girls distinguish between confident and not-so-confident thoughts and learn to feed their mind confident thoughts.  

 

Authentic confidence withstands external pressures and expectations because it comes from within.  It stems from a confident mindset and strong connection to personal strengths and values.  And with the right guidance, authentic confidence can be cultivated and sustained. 

 

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