As summer weeks melt away, many teen girls start worrying about going back to school.  Whether it’s anxiety about grades, friendships, college applications, or fitting in, your daughter may be carrying more mental weight than she’s letting on.

As a parent, it can be hard to know how to help—especially if she insists she’s fine or avoids opening up with you.  But with the right approach, you can help her overcome back-to-school anxiety and learn helpful tools along the way. 

How to Spot Summer Anxiety 

Summer anxiety doesn’t always show up in obvious ways. Your daughter may not say she’s stressed—but her behavior can speak volumes. Here are signs to watch for:

• Restlessness or irritability
• Withdrawing from social activities or avoiding plans
•  Expressing worry about school, friends, or the future
• Procrastination on summer assignments or college prep tasks

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Common Summer Stress Triggers

Understanding why your teen might be anxious will help you respond with empathy and support. These are a few common concerns I hear from the girls I coach:

• Academic Pressure: Worry about next year’s workload, upcoming AP classes, or college admissions.
• Social Dynamics: Fear of friend group changes, being left out, or navigating social drama on and offline.
• Big Transitions: Starting high school, applying to college, or preparing to leave home can bring excitement and anxiety.
• Unstructured Time: For some teens, too much free time leads to overthinking and emotional spirals.

How to Support 

1. Spark Honest Conversations

Ask open-ended questions like:
“How are you feeling about next school year?”
“What concerns or worries do you have?”
“What are you most excited about?”  

As your daughter shares, listen to understand her point of view and let her know that, no matter how she feels about the future, her feelings are normal and make sense. 

2. Validate and Understand

Instead of reassuring with “You’ll be fine,” which to most teens, feels like a dismissal, try:
“That sounds really tough—thank you for telling me. Do you want to talk more?”
“ It makes sense that you feel __. There are a lot of unknowns. Do you want to talk about some ways you can prepare?” 

Validation and understanding builds trust and helps your daughter feel seen and heard. Asking if she’d like to go deeper demonstrates respect, which ultimately encourages more communication.  

3. List, Prune, Prioritize, Plan

If your daughter is overwhelmed by summer homework, working a summer job, drafting college essays, or other responsibilities, encourage her to develop a system.  One that works really well for the girls I coach is called LP3, or List, Prune, Prioritize, Plan. The first step is to list all the things that are creating a sense of overwhelm. Then, cross off items that do not need immediate attention or those she can’t do anything about.  Prioritize what’s left and use a calendar or another scheduling system to plan time to complete each remaining task.  LP3 takes a few minutes to organize but the investment leads to reduced anxiety and more motivation.

4. Show, Don’t Tell

Whether it’s back-to-school stress, social anxiety, or self-doubt, your daughter needs a model  for self-care and stress management.  Let her see you take breaks, ask for help, and process stress in healthy ways.  Be open about your strategies for dealing with stress or difficult feelings. Teens tend to reject what they’re told but they respond to what they’re shown.  By modeling self-care and emotional regulation, you give your daughter a framework for how she can do the same. 

5. Expand her Support System

All teens benefit from having a support system. One that includes you, loyal friends, and trusted adults.  If anxiety is getting in the way of her well-being, reach out. Meeting regularly with a life coach is a powerful act of self-care and a time-out from stress and worry to focus on personal growth and empowering next steps.  Through life coaching, your daughter will learn tools and strategies for navigating school stress, friendship challenges, big life transitions, and so much more.  

Remember, if your daughter is experiencing back-to-school summer anxiety, it’s a signal that she cares about her future and needs your support so she can move forward with confidence and peace of mind, rather than fear and worry!