Adulthood. Independence. Responsibility. 

These words create strong images in the mind of a teen.  

They can spark excitement: Finally, I don’t have to do everything my parents say.  I’ll be free! That will be good! 

They can also stir up fear and doubt:  What if I fail? If I mess up, that will be bad!

Most teens are a mix of emotions, and when it comes to the changes associated with growing up, they are on a teeter-totter of excitement and anxiety.  They tend to envision things in black and white- it will be good to have total freedom to do “whatever they want” and it will be bad to fail or mess up.  These extremes are accompanied by a sense of grief that youth is over.  

Preparing for adulthood is an inevitable part of growing up. In my coaching practice, I’ve helped both high school and college-age girls overcome their fear of growing up so they can move forward feeling capable, optimistic, and supported.

Cultivating capability. 

Since a lot of fear of growing up is based on a belief that they will mess up or fail, I help girls strengthen their “I can do it!” attitude.  I take them through a thoughtful reflection on past challenges and areas where they have figured things out. I ask them about the personal strengths that helped them through past experiences or the qualities that they developed as a result of challenging experiences.  We also explore the times they made mistakes and what those experiences taught them about their values, strengths, and perspectives.  They begin to realize they have made difficult decisions and survived challenging times.  They also see how mistakes actually lead to more wisdom and strength.  Before long, their fear is replaced by empowerment. 

Supporting optimism. 

Developing a sense of optimism helps girls connect with the positive aspects of adulthood.

I ask them what’s good about growing up and what opportunities they will have in this stage of their life.  As we explore what they are looking forward to, I build on their newfound sense of capability.  We talk about optimistic decision-making:  thinking about ideal outcomes and then determining what choices are more likely to lead to an ideal outcome.  Without fail, this builds excitement and a positive outlook!  

Feeling supported.

Girls’ fear of growing up often comes from the belief that being an adult means doing everything on their own.  In coaching sessions, when we focus on this unrealistic belief, girls come to realize that they are surrounded by support.  They understand that being an adult does not mean abandoning the encouragement of family and friends. They can still rely on their support system, as well as the inner resources they have been developing all their lives.

Teen and young adult life coaching supports girls in preparing for adulthood by strengthening their self-awareness, building their sense of capability and optimism, and helping them realize how to self-support as well as lean on their support system.  

Parent coaching also helps!

Preparing for adulthood is easier with parent coaching, you can learn how to balance supporting versus rescuing your teen as well as effective ways to promote responsibility and accountability so that your daughter is prepared, and excited for, adulthood.  

Schedule a free discovery call to learn more!