I coach so many girls through the ups and downs of a new crush. While it’s totally normal to have nerves, sometimes the nerves trigger overthinking and overanalyzing which becomes distracting and stressful. Here are a few of my expert tips for how to stay calm, confident, and real when you’re crushing on someone.
1. Treat your crush like a normal person.
Your crush is special but it doesn’t serve you to put him/her on a pedestal. Instead, think of your crush in the same way to think of a friend or a common stranger.
2. Remind yourself you are in charge.
You are the one who gets to make choices about how the relationship will go. Pay attention to how your crush treats you and other people.
3. Don’t skip the friendship stage.
Starting in the friend zone is good! Friendship allows you to really get to know each other which lays a foundation for a healthy and strong relationship.
4. Stop counting!
When you DM your crush, don’t waste time worrying about the minutes (or hours) between your message and your crush’s response. It does not matter whether he/she takes five minutes or five hours to respond. What matters is the response itself. Is it thoughtful? Is it kind? Is your crush showing an interest in you?
5. Maintain your self-worth.
Remember what is important to you in a romantic relationship. If you are not being treated with kindness and respect, or if your crush is showing any signs that he/she wants a different relationship different from what you want, move on. The person who is aligned with you will show up.
6. Expect respect!
Consider how you want to be treated and how you want to feel with your crush. Don’t make excuses and settle for less! Remember, you teach people how to treat you.
7. Be patient.
Good things take time. Going slow will allow you to watch him and you to decide if he’s good enough for you! Going slow is more likely to lead to a lasting relationship and fewer regrets.
8. Don’t be afraid to say NO!
Compromising yourself or your values will not serve you or your new relationships. Although a boundary, or a “no,” may upset your crush, it’s important to remain true to yourself. Your crush will recover and you will feel proud that you upheld your values.
9. Own your AWESOMENESS!!!
Step into your beautiful energy and power and use it to protect, support, and create a relationship that you want and deserve!