I coach so many girls through the ups and downs of a new crush. While it’s totally normal to have nerves, sometimes the nerves trigger overthinking and overanalyzing which becomes distracting and stressful.
Here are a few of my expert tips for teens on how to stay calm, confident, and real when you’re crushing on someone.
1. Treat your crush like a normal person.
Your crush is special but it doesn’t serve you to put him/her on a pedestal. Instead, think of your crush in the same way to think of a friend or a common stranger.
2. Remind yourself you are in charge.
You are the one who gets to make choices about how the relationship will go. Pay attention to how your crush treats you and other people.
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3. Don’t skip the friendship stage.
Starting in the friend zone is good! Friendship allows you to really get to know each other which lays a foundation for a healthy and strong relationship.
4. Stop counting!
When you DM your crush, don’t waste time worrying about the minutes (or hours) between your message and your crush’s response. It does not matter whether he/she takes five minutes or five hours to respond. What matters is the response itself. Is it thoughtful? Is it kind? Is your crush showing an interest in you?
5. Maintain your self-worth.
Remember what is important to you in a romantic relationship. If you are not being treated with kindness and respect, or if your crush is showing any signs that he/she wants a different relationship different from what you want, move on. The person who is aligned with you will show up.
6. Expect respect!
Consider how you want to be treated and how you want to feel with your crush. Don’t make excuses and settle for less! Remember, you teach people how to treat you.
7. Be patient.
Good things take time. Going slow will allow you to watch him and you to decide if he’s good enough for you! Going slow is more likely to lead to a lasting relationship and fewer regrets.
8. Don’t be afraid to say NO!
Compromising yourself or your values will not serve you or your new relationships. Although a boundary, or a “no,” may upset your crush, it’s important to remain true to yourself. Your crush will recover and you will feel proud that you upheld your values.
9. Own your AWESOMENESS!!!
Step into your beautiful energy and power and use it to protect, support, and create a relationship that you want and deserve!
so, at my school they had a sucker sale that you can send to a friend or a valentine. so i sent him one but i put my number and not my name. my friend who delivered it said he seemed surprised to get it but he took it anyways. one of my guy friends told him that it was me that sent it so he asked his dad to add me as a contact ( he has strict parents) and he texted me. and we were talking for about three and a half hours but the conversation died down. then today i texted him happy valentines day and he replied super quick but i tried starting the conversation and he was dry and it ended super fast i texted him a few hours later and he was still super dry. what do i do?
Hi! Your confusion makes sense since he seemed interested in the beginning, but now, his actions suggest he’s not interested. It’s probably best to take a step back for now. Give yourself and him some time. You can reassess the situation in a few days and decide if you want to check in with him again, or maybe he’ll reach out to you.
let’s start at the beginning. i met this guy a couple years ago when we were both in guys and dolls. we were placed to dance together, and because we were fairly young, it was awkward and neither of us spoke to each other. after the show ended, i found out that my friend actually knew him from church and had a crush on him. he was homeschooled at the time. i did another show that he was in last summer and we talked a bit. he seemed really funny, nice, and cute, and i got a bit of a crush on him but figured nothing would really happen since he didn’t go to my school. at the start of this year, about 6 months ago now, he started public school and is now in my school. the first time i saw him in school, he looked excited to see me, but we didn’t talk at first because we only saw each other across the cafeteria as he was leaving and i was entering. over the next few days, it felt like he was everywhere i was, even though we only had one and sometimes two classes together. sometime along the way, and i’m not sure when, we started talking in classes. my friends also had more classes with him and started talking to him as well. as a result, he became a part of my friend group. we’re now pretty good friends, but it’s always felt like there’s something else behind our friendship. he seems jealous when other guys talk to me or flirt with me, and he tries to talk to them and i think to figure out their intentions and my reaction. he’s always really physically close to me, and our arms often touch when we walk in the halls. he seems interested in learning more about my interests, life, and family. i sometimes catch him staring at me, and my friend says he often stares at me during orchestra rehearsal. once, he offered to carry my coat while we were walking. he always looks out for me, tries to hang out with me and be near me, and it seems like he’s flirting a lot of the time, which i don’t think he does with others a lot. however, he keeps shipping me with another friend (who is a girl), although i’m straight. i’m not sure if i’m friendzoned or if he’s trying to ensure i could actually be interested in him. also, my other friend (not the same one from the beginning of this comment) likes him, and told him that a few weeks ago. he didn’t respond to her for a couple days, and when i texted him about it, he said it was stressing him out. he ended up telling her he thought it was better to stay friends. i really want to date him, and i’m scared to tell him how i feel about him. even if he likes me back, his parents are strict and i’m not sure if they’ll let him date yet. anyway, there’s my situation. please give me advice, i’m struggling here to figure out what to do.
I have a crush on a boy who used to be on my Energy Breakthrough team (if u don’t know what that is search it up) but anyways we talked we even stayed in my tent together alone for about an hr talking about our life we were rlly close that day. This yr we look at each-other he looks at me sometimes and looks away. But this girl in his class keeps on shipping me and him and he crashed out.( is that a good thing?) Im so confused? He also fixes his hair and everything when i’m here so I guess that’s a good thing but idk.
Thank you it works me and my love of my life is with me
Hi. Does it feel so awkward to be attracted to a guy just 2 weeks after joining a school?
so i have a crush right now and tommorow i’m gonna talk to him!!!!! wish me good luck!!